Week 3- Same-sex Marriage

“It takes a man and a woman to bring a child into the world. Mothers and fathers are not interchangeable. Men and women are distinct and complementary. Children deserve a chance to grow up with both a mom and a dad.”

-Russell M. Nelson

Same-sex marriage is a very touchy topic in this day and age. It’s one that can hurt a lot of feelings, and has caused a lot of people to feel upset and that the Church needs to “get with the times” or that we are being judgmental. That is not the case. 

In a talk Russell M. Nelson gave to BYU graduates he said, “God is the Father of all men and women. They are His children. It was he who ordained marriage as the union of a man and a woman. Marriage was not created by human judges or legislators. It was not created by think tanks or by popular vote or by oft-quotes bloggers or by pundits. It was not created by lobbyists. Marriage was created by God!” I love this quote because it really solidifies that marriage was created by God, it is his union and therefore man cannot change it. God has declared marriage as a union between a man and a woman. He then goes on to say, “Man simply cannot make moral what God has declared to be immoral. Sin, even if legalized by man, is still sin in the eyes of God.” We cannot begin to try and change the ways of God, and that is what is happening in the world.

I grew up in California, and when I was in high school Prop 8 was going on. This was a really hard thing for me, because although I knew it was right, I was one of the three members in my high school. To top it off I was on the same cheer leading team as a gay guy. One day as the car pool dropped me off they saw our many Prop 8 signs, I was given a pretty hard time for this and as a high school student I really didn’t know how to respond. But I made sure this guy knew that it didn’t change the way I thought about him, it wasn’t to hurt him, that he was still my friend, but that I simply thought marriage should be between a man and a woman.  Surprisingly he was understanding as were my other friends. As time has gone on I have seen this fight get worse and worse and uglier. I know my children will grow up in a much harsher world than I did and I just hope that I can teach them to love others, but to stand for the right.

Week 2- Marriage Trends and Divorce

 “Marriage is not merely a private arrangement; it is also a complex social institution. Marriage fosters small cooperative unions—also known as stable families—that enable children to thrive, shore up communities, and help family members to succeed during good times and to weather the bad times.” (State of the Union, pg. xii)

This week as we learned about the importance of marriage and more importantly how harmful divorce can be it got me thinking about today, and how scary it is that divorce is so common. In a talk by Elder Oaks entitled “Divorce” he said that some people refer to their first marriage as their “starter marriage”. This just about broke my heart. No marriage should ever start with even the though that it could end. That being said marriage takes work, it’s not something that just happens, but is something that you need to work on and cherish if you want it to last. As the quote above states we marry potential, and in a marriage it is so important that we see that potential.

Later in that talk Elder Oaks goes onto say that “A good marriage does not require a perfect man or a perfect woman. It only requires a man and a woman committed to strive together toward perfection.” I love that. No marriage is going to happen without fights and disagreements, but it’s how we handle those fights that will affect the outcome of our marriage. As long as we can remember this important principle taught by Elder Oaks, that neither our spouse or ourselves our perfect our marriages will stand a much higher chance against the world. Although a marriage is made up of two imperfect people, we can work together to eventually become perfect.

In a talk by President Kimball called “Families Can Be Eternal” he stated “…only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us.” There is so much evil around us, especially attacking the family, that in order to protect our families we must be actively working on it. The main things I am going to do to ensure to preserve my family is to make my home a safe haven. I want my home to be a place where my children feel safe and not a part of the crazy ways of the world. I will do my best to have family prayer and scripture study, but also to make sure that there is always love and open dialogue in my home. Of course, there will be fighting at times, but I always want to make sure there is a precedent of love. That no matter how much we fight, and no matter that none of us are perfect, we are a family and we love and protect each other. I feel like the main way we can achieve this is to make memories together. Also, I feel like making my marriage a priority will protect my family, if my marriage is full of love and happiness that will set the mood for my family. My children will see what a happy marriage should be like, and hopefully they will follow my example and not those of the world. 

References:

Kimball, S.W. (Nov. 1980). Families Can Be Eternal. Ensign.

Oaks, D.H. (May 2007). Divorce. Ensign.

State of Our Unions 2012; The National Marriage Project. http://www.stateofourunions.org