W11 Intimacy in Marriage

“In summary, sex should be a celebration. It comes from God. He created our sexual appetites and natures. He has ordained us to make love both physically and spiritually. He is pleased when He sees us bonded together sexually, in love, for this is the plan of creation. And this plan permits the husband and wife to jointly participate in creating new life and, in a sense, perpetuate part of themselves into eternity through their children. The sexual embrace should never be a chore or a duty, but a loving part of a larger relationship. Of giving to our partner, cherishing, respecting, protecting each other. It won't always be easy. But the rewards can be incredibly great if we choose to make them so.” (How to Make a Good Marriage Great, 1987, p. 39) 
 

In the LDS culture we are taught the law of chastity and more often than not, only the part about how we need to abstain from having sexual relationships until we are married. There is usually not much talk about how once you are married sex is a good, and important thing. This quote really stuck out to me, especially the first line, “sex should be a celebration”. How often are we taught that sex should be a celebration? This week I really appreciated all of our readings about the importance of intimacy in marriage and the good it brings.

“Sex is for procreation and expression of love. It is the destiny of men and women to join together to make eternal family units. In the context of lawful marriage, the intimacy of sexual relations is right and divinely approved. There is nothing unholy or degrading about sexuality in itself, for by that means men and women join in a process of creation and in an expression of love.”—Spencer W. Kimball

Intimacy in marriage is a good thing! This is one quote that I want to remember, there is nothing “unholy or degrading about sexuality in itself”. When done in the right setting, with a husband and wife, sexual relations are meant to show love and bring the couple closer together.

Of course, with the good also comes the bad. There are many ways that intimacy is tainted, infidelity and pornography, to name a few. As a mother of a son, it is something that I have thought a lot about. How will I protect my son? My husband? My household? How will I teach my children that sex is not a bad thing, it just has to be done within the boundaries the Lord has set. I believe this starts with me and my spouse. If together we can show our children, what a happy, healthy relationship looks and acts like we can help protect them from what the world portrays as acceptable. In my marriage there are boundaries we have set, if one of us texts someone of the opposite sex who is not family, we inform the other. It doesn’t happen often, but the few times it has we are open and the other always reads the messages. There are no secrets. We are open with our phones and passwords. Not that either one of us has reason to worry or even a real reason to not trust the other, we have those boundaries to protect ourselves. We do this to be overcautious because when it comes to Satan and technology, I believe you can never be too safe. We learned in Goddards book that there is a pattern to infidelity. I was surprised at how quickly innocent and even good behaviors can turn to cheating on your spouse.